Welcome

15.07.2024

i started to beat myself up for not doing anything all day but i guess im technically on vacation!? so its ok to have a day of not doing a lot! 'not doing a lot' still included getting progress done on my hue shift afghan and getting some exercise in walking around with my boyfriend. we went to a fragrance store to check out a couple scents we're interested in and he ended up buying Narcotic Delight and it smells incredible on him.

i also got to smell By the Fireplace, which I liked, but it was a bit strong to be an everyday wear. it's just smoke. It would be a great componant in another perfume, though.

another Ritual fragrance that really got my attention was Autumn Vibes. where By the Fireplace was too much, Autumn vibes was too little; there just wasn't enough happening here to make it an everyday wear. it's too subtle. it's to a T hiking in the mountains of Oregon in fall and smelling the fresh air and dampness that's misting down onto the decomposing leaves that you're squishing gently with every step. it's such a PLACE.

i also got a book today, Girl in Pieces by Kathleen Glasgow. i've seen some people on twitter talking about it but am mostly going in blind. looking forward to getting comfy with it!

14.07.2024

so much has happened! i have a job and am waiting on some paperwork to come in the mail so i can sign my contract! it's at an Altenpflege, i've done three trial days and really liked it. it's a lot of work but everyone appreciates the help and the time passes quickly. all the old men tell me im a nice young lad like they used to be back in the day and all the old ladies giggle about having a handsome gentleman visit them for coffee. i wear scrubs which i'm not suuuper looking forward to but they're at least a nice deep red that I really like. i have until i start on the first off to use up the rest of my vacation days before my FSJ is over... it's like I get a little summer vacation!

22.06.2024

deleted some depressing entries! haven't kept up with this in what feels like forever. job contract is almost over, I'm a job hunting maniac at the moment, and I have a boyfriend who as of writing has been with me for almost three months. he's playing video games while I get weird about categorizing protein bars. I'm also possibly getting into Wikipedia editing, it's a little addictive.

05.08.2023

at work again! showed up and there was nobody with my assigned group but it felt really nice to kinda know what's going on already and make coffee, set the table, call people to come to the group room to hang out and watch TV when it was ready, etc

I really like my coworkers, we have a really fun back-and-forth of them teaching me German and me teaching then a few words of English in return. they get a kick out of trying to nail the pronunciation (and it is very funny when they try to one-up each other on hard words like squirrel and water bottle but to be fair English is a fucking clown language)

(actually I don't believe a not clown language exists. the German word for gloves literally translates to "hand shoes")

anyways I got to spend some time with my favorite group and it was a blast. I only stayed for four hours (they're going on a trip to a bunch of doctor appointments tomorrow so early bedtime) but my coworker J assured me that it's not a big deal if I can't work while my car is fucked because I'm working voluntarily before my contract actually starts on the first which was a HUGE relief. getting to understand a lot more German in general but especially how to interact with people that have speech difficulties- one of the biggest challenges with this job so far because my understanding is already not great with it being a second language even when people do speak clearly and slowly, but I'm starting to pick up on how to communicate with everyone and it's fast progress.

04.08.2023

hey whats up its ya boi

I spent forever trying to figure out how to get a functioning blog to work and then realized I can just fuckin add new entries at the top whenever I want to write something and you can scroll down to see older posts. fuckin genius. clearly I'm very very good at this website stuff

anyways yesterday was my second day of work and my car died which sucks absolute shit. tante M had to give me a ride to work which is kind of a hit to the ol' ego at my big age having my new adoptive auntie drive me around but whatever. I have to leave for work here in a few minutes actually idk why they scheduled me until 10pm last night and then at 8am this morning

now at work, needless to say I'm p fuckin tired but only have like three hours left

I really like my job so far but I'm literally only on day 3 so like. we'll see. kinda already committed to a year of this though so even if I hate it I gotta deal BUT all the residents I've interacted with have been really sweet except one dude who is notoriously racist but like. old dude in Germany, if he wasn't directly influenced by Nazi shit his parents for sure were, and changing your mindset on the stuff you're raised with is hard enough when you're old without the additional struggle of being intellectually disabled so I can't really fault him for it. day two with him was already a lot better anyways, he definitely seems like the type to hate a group in theory because he's been taught they're bad but once he actually interacts with them he's like oh well ok you're chill as an individual

I'm glad that I've spent some time in online disability spaces to have a bit of context on various needs like mobility devices, thickening agent for fluids, etc. definitely gonna read up more on standards of care so I can help everyone the best I can